anita's*thoughts
Sunday, August 20, 2006
It has taken awhile to figure out what exactly Hamish and I feel about our current circumstances of raising a sick child. But this story helps:

When you are going to have a baby it’s like planning a fabulous trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Colosseum. The Michelangelo David. The Gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It is all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later the plane lands. The stewardess comes forward and says “Welcome to Holland”

“Holland!?!?” You say “What do you mean Holland?” I signed up to go to Italy. I am supposed to be in Italy. All my life I have dreamed of going to Italy”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and you must stay. So you must go and buy new guidebooks. Are you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people that you have never meet. It is just a different place. But after you have been there a while you catch your breath and you look around and begin to notice that Holland has windmills and tulips and even Rembrandts

But everyone you know is busy, coming and going to Italy and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you well say “Yes, that is where I was supposed to go. That is what I had planned”

And the pain of that well never, ever, ever go away because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

This story was written by Emily Pearly Kingsley and I will add a few things to it.

We have the dream of perhaps eventually getting to Italy. It will never be the Italy that we imagined but at least we will be there. The flight to get there mindblowingly expensive so much so you are relying totally on the government to pay for your flight. The flight it’s self is bumpy and risky and there is a good chance you may crash on the way but you must take it. There is also the possibility that before you hopefully get on this flight that you may suddenly have to leave Holland for one reason or another. And every day you fall more and more in love with Holland even though you wanted to go to Italy.

So we mourn the loss of a dream and face the fact we can’t settle permanently in Holland and get comfortable. We must leave and hope and trust we will make it to Italy.

1 comments
Anita posted at 12:37 PM

Wednesday, August 09, 2006
WE are being discharged today!!!!! Yes TODAY everyone.

I am home quickly and then dashing backing for a discharge meeting and then we are going home.

Aria's photo site has been updated thanks to Dad and Sharon who had a lovely visit over to our sunny shores on the weekend (ok not so sunny)

2 comments
Anita posted at 8:31 AM

Thursday, August 03, 2006
Home but not so briefly this time!! The hospital let us out for the night to take Aria home for a 'test run'. Our little girl spent her first night at home and she is two months old today!! Pretty strange really. It was so cool to have her sleep in her own little bed. Unfortunately our visit home has been cut short cause she needs to go back in for a blood tranfusion which is really annoying so we are off in an hour back to Starship. One of the downsides on being feed by TPN is that it doesn't contain iron so she will need regular tranfusions. So give blood everyone -my little girl needs it!!

She also went to church for the first time on Sunday- that was pretty cool. And in other cool news my Dad and Sharon are coming over for the weekend to see us. Although I suspect they are mainly coming to see Aria and I don't blame them!!!:):) Once you see her smile you will be hooked:):)) The nurses keep saying they want to take her home in their handbags!

2 comments
Anita posted at 1:37 PM

Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com