Sunday, August 20, 2006
It has taken awhile to figure out what exactly Hamish and I feel about our current circumstances of raising a sick child. But this story helps:

When you are going to have a baby it’s like planning a fabulous trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Colosseum. The Michelangelo David. The Gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It is all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later the plane lands. The stewardess comes forward and says “Welcome to Holland”

“Holland!?!?” You say “What do you mean Holland?” I signed up to go to Italy. I am supposed to be in Italy. All my life I have dreamed of going to Italy”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and you must stay. So you must go and buy new guidebooks. Are you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people that you have never meet. It is just a different place. But after you have been there a while you catch your breath and you look around and begin to notice that Holland has windmills and tulips and even Rembrandts

But everyone you know is busy, coming and going to Italy and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you well say “Yes, that is where I was supposed to go. That is what I had planned”

And the pain of that well never, ever, ever go away because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

This story was written by Emily Pearly Kingsley and I will add a few things to it.

We have the dream of perhaps eventually getting to Italy. It will never be the Italy that we imagined but at least we will be there. The flight to get there mindblowingly expensive so much so you are relying totally on the government to pay for your flight. The flight it’s self is bumpy and risky and there is a good chance you may crash on the way but you must take it. There is also the possibility that before you hopefully get on this flight that you may suddenly have to leave Holland for one reason or another. And every day you fall more and more in love with Holland even though you wanted to go to Italy.

So we mourn the loss of a dream and face the fact we can’t settle permanently in Holland and get comfortable. We must leave and hope and trust we will make it to Italy.
Anita posted at 12:37 pm